Today in my son's backpack was a note home from school. It's never a good thing.. the note home. My first thought was "what bad word did he say now? I hope he at least used it in the correct context. Now, that would be a step in the right direction..."
Hey, I can find a silver lining in any situation.
But, no, this note was quite different.
It turns out that my son and his new friend, whom I posted about below... are an "item". They were holding hands and kissing on the playground.
I guess my son goes for "older women" because his friend is the ripe old age of 10. Son just turned 9.
Anyway, both of them visited with the principal (!!) and I guess the matter is resolved.
But I have two comments about this...
1) Since when did having a boyfriend/girlfriend on the playground become such a no-no? No, he shouldn't have kissed her (or she shouldn't have kissed him... who knows who initiated it). But it seemed from the letter that the hand holding was as much of an offense as the kissing. I think all of us can remember back to elementary school and how we either kissed someone or got kissed on the playground. Rite of passage? Who knows... But, if you got caught, you were told "hey, don't do that" and that was pretty much the end of it. Did we really need a note home about the whole thing? I guess the principal lectured both kids (who have autism, remember) that we don't have girlfriends/boyfriends in elementary school. We just have friends, nothing more. How much of that do you think actually stuck??
2) Obviously, my son has autism. He has social deficits... so much so that he has several social goals on his IEP (Individualized Education Plan). How did my son go from "autistic-boy-with-no-social-skills" to Casanova? Hmmm... I guess we are making some progress in the social areas.
I told you I could find a silver lining in most anything....
Monday, March 23, 2009
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
Visitor
I know I've been absent from blogging. (Yeah, I know, what else is new?) And for that I apologize. I get an idea, and then if I don't blog about it right then... Poof. It's gone.
I must learn.
But! This was a bit of good news that I feel compelled to share.
First, let me say that my son has no friends. And no, it doesn't bother me. They've tried working on that with him at school. He will tell them, "I have my Mom and Dad. They are my friends". While that is charming... the kid needs some friends that are his own age.
Friends have always been "out of sight, out of mind" with my son. He might have some "buddies" that he likes to talk to, or play games with on the playground. But as soon as he leaves the school, he doesn't think about them. My son has never asked me to have a friend home, or a playdate, or whatever you want to call it. My son has never phoned any of his schoolmates, nor has received any calls.
Then... came "Abby".
Abby started school with my son this year, and is in his regular education classroom, as well as his special education classroom. She has issues of her own, which I'm sure fall somewhere on the autism spectrum, and would include social difficulties, just like my son. However, I'm beginning to think in the eyes of my son, Abby is absolutely perfect. It's been "Abby this" and "Abby that". "I want Abby to come over."
Really??
My son turned 9 about a week ago, so we invited Abby over for a playdate.
My son talked about nothing else from the moment we scheduled the playdate, until Abby actually arrived.
Once she came over ... I wasn't sure what to do. After all, autism is my "normal". And we've never had a playdate before. I've never had a playdate before, from the Mom's point of view, anyway! What do I do with myself?? Do I hover over them and faciliate play? Do I retreat to the next room, on the ready to rush in if needed? I didn't want to be in the way. But, I didn't want to be absent, either. I was probably more nervous than my son was! :)
Overall, I think it went very well. Aside from the fact that Abby is a complete opposite of my son. She seems to be very "girly" and, well, we don't do girly around here. We don't have dolls, and we don't have princess movies, either. She seemed to tolerate the non-stop Beatles jukebox, and wasn't phased when my son refused to color with her when the crayons came out. Most important, though, was that she seemed just as enormed with being around my son, as my son was around her. So, it was a success!
Of course, now all that I hear about is "when is she coming back?"
I must learn.
But! This was a bit of good news that I feel compelled to share.
First, let me say that my son has no friends. And no, it doesn't bother me. They've tried working on that with him at school. He will tell them, "I have my Mom and Dad. They are my friends". While that is charming... the kid needs some friends that are his own age.
Friends have always been "out of sight, out of mind" with my son. He might have some "buddies" that he likes to talk to, or play games with on the playground. But as soon as he leaves the school, he doesn't think about them. My son has never asked me to have a friend home, or a playdate, or whatever you want to call it. My son has never phoned any of his schoolmates, nor has received any calls.
Then... came "Abby".
Abby started school with my son this year, and is in his regular education classroom, as well as his special education classroom. She has issues of her own, which I'm sure fall somewhere on the autism spectrum, and would include social difficulties, just like my son. However, I'm beginning to think in the eyes of my son, Abby is absolutely perfect. It's been "Abby this" and "Abby that". "I want Abby to come over."
Really??
My son turned 9 about a week ago, so we invited Abby over for a playdate.
My son talked about nothing else from the moment we scheduled the playdate, until Abby actually arrived.
Once she came over ... I wasn't sure what to do. After all, autism is my "normal". And we've never had a playdate before. I've never had a playdate before, from the Mom's point of view, anyway! What do I do with myself?? Do I hover over them and faciliate play? Do I retreat to the next room, on the ready to rush in if needed? I didn't want to be in the way. But, I didn't want to be absent, either. I was probably more nervous than my son was! :)
Overall, I think it went very well. Aside from the fact that Abby is a complete opposite of my son. She seems to be very "girly" and, well, we don't do girly around here. We don't have dolls, and we don't have princess movies, either. She seemed to tolerate the non-stop Beatles jukebox, and wasn't phased when my son refused to color with her when the crayons came out. Most important, though, was that she seemed just as enormed with being around my son, as my son was around her. So, it was a success!
Of course, now all that I hear about is "when is she coming back?"
Monday, February 16, 2009
2009 - Year of the Beast
According to the Chinese zodiac, 2009 is the year of the Ox. I assume they chose this animal because it represents power and strength. However, when I think about an ox, I think of a hairy, smelly beast. Yeah... a beast. That's exactly the word that comes to mind when I think about how 2009 has progressed so far.
A beast.
Let me explain why...
2009 has been in existence for six short weeks. 47 days by my calculations. In that short span of time, my immediate family has experienced: a case of the flu, 2 confirmed cases of pneumonia, and a suspected case of strep throat. (I go to the doctor tomorrow.. we'll see). This has resulted in 6 doctor visits, 4 x-rays, and at least 5 prescription drugs if my memory serves me correctly. (Of course, that total does include a nuisance doctor visit to retrieve a bead that my son stuck in his ear. But, it was a doc visit!). 7 total doctor visits if you count tomorrow, and another possible Rx. If I sit here long enough, I could equate a dollar value to the co-pays, co-insurance and Rx totals. However, that would depress me past the point of no return, so I'm not going to do that.
Speaking of money, let's talk about our jobs. I have missed so many days - again, I don't want to total it up because it would depress me. My husband has already used most of his vacation days in his attempt to overcome pneumonia. 6 weeks into the year and it's gone. I guess we're not going anywhere this summer. Though, I guess that might make a nice essay.. "how I spent my vacation" (hack, cough, hack)
So, 2009? You win. I give up. I surrender. I am waving the white flag here. 6 weeks into the year, and I'm done.
What's scary is that the more people I talk to about my battle with 2009 - the more I hear of similar stories. Others who would like to declare this dreadful year over with already. Is the Ox that scary?
Here's hoping that the next 6 weeks brings better weather, better health, and better finances. To all of us.
A beast.
Let me explain why...
2009 has been in existence for six short weeks. 47 days by my calculations. In that short span of time, my immediate family has experienced: a case of the flu, 2 confirmed cases of pneumonia, and a suspected case of strep throat. (I go to the doctor tomorrow.. we'll see). This has resulted in 6 doctor visits, 4 x-rays, and at least 5 prescription drugs if my memory serves me correctly. (Of course, that total does include a nuisance doctor visit to retrieve a bead that my son stuck in his ear. But, it was a doc visit!). 7 total doctor visits if you count tomorrow, and another possible Rx. If I sit here long enough, I could equate a dollar value to the co-pays, co-insurance and Rx totals. However, that would depress me past the point of no return, so I'm not going to do that.
Speaking of money, let's talk about our jobs. I have missed so many days - again, I don't want to total it up because it would depress me. My husband has already used most of his vacation days in his attempt to overcome pneumonia. 6 weeks into the year and it's gone. I guess we're not going anywhere this summer. Though, I guess that might make a nice essay.. "how I spent my vacation" (hack, cough, hack)
So, 2009? You win. I give up. I surrender. I am waving the white flag here. 6 weeks into the year, and I'm done.
What's scary is that the more people I talk to about my battle with 2009 - the more I hear of similar stories. Others who would like to declare this dreadful year over with already. Is the Ox that scary?
Here's hoping that the next 6 weeks brings better weather, better health, and better finances. To all of us.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Bah Humbug
I'm having a very hard time getting into the holiday spirit this year. It seems, as every year passes, that it gets harder and harder.
And honestly, it shouldn't be this hard. Christmas music is pumped at us in stores and on the radio via 24/7 stations. Merchants have trees, ornaments and other decorations out for sale -- in fact, these sales have been going on since before Halloween! It seems the "season" is getting longer and longer (or is the correct term 'earlier and earlier'?)
Another reason it shouldn't be so hard is my son. He's 8 years old, and very much believes in the Man in the Big Red Suit. This should be a time of wonder and joy for me, experiencing it all for the second time around through his eyes.
But... WHY is it so hard?
Is it just the fact that I'm getting older, wiser, and more cynical? More jaded against the commercialism that is shoved at us?
Honestly, I think the reason could be my son. Not him personally, but the autism. Now, I know it's a scapegoat. Blame the A word. It's the easy out. But I don't think that way. Really I don't. There is a big difference between using the autism as a reason to escape every responsibility in life, and tweaking situations just a little so there's still the experience, but better managed in a way that my son can still participate.
(That's probably a another post for another time... so I'll just stick with the holiday theme here.)
(Either that, or I'm using the autism excuse because this is supposed to be a blog about parenting a child with autism, which I haven't blogged about much at all... so I better start now and this is a good way to fit it in? Nah.....)
Where was I? Ah yes.. bah humbug. My son's behavior has been on a downward spiral since Thanksgiving.
First off, there was the 5 day break from school over the Tgiving holiday. Breaks from school are NEVER a good thing for a child who depends so heavily on routine. Then, once he does return to school, the established routine is upset again - this time by decorations. All the fall decorations are gone and new winter/holiday decorations are up. And any change is not necessarily good.
But... one of the special education rooms has - I kid you not - a bulletin board of a tree, with actual blinking lights on it.
What. were. they. thinking?
Blinking lights?
His own special ed room has christmas lights snaking all over the ceiling. I've not seen them blink.... yet.
My child OBSESSES over lights. Cannot concentrate when there's one burned out, or humming, or otherwise doing something it's not supposed to do.
The lights have been up for a few weeks now and he's adjusted. So we finally decided to go ahead and put the tree up at home. After a few days of obsessing over the tree and the lights that are on that, we're finally back to "normal" routine.
It's just... hard.
Hard because the things that excite all the other kids, excite my kid too. But, it excites him to a level that pushes him over the edge. Making it hard for him to cope and move on - things that other kids can do without even thinking about it.
The overstimulation of this time of year is REALLY huge. I think most of us don't even realize that because we don't have to conciously try. Sure, we're stressed. But when we walk into a store (or the school, or at home) and see all the decorations and lights, etc... we just either tune it out or move on. We don't get 'stuck' like my son will, unable to pry himself away from the blinking lights on a display at the store.
Even though it's hard... he's still my son. And I love him with all my heart. More than I can describe. So, I'll keep on keeping on, doing what I know best... patiently biding my time, standing next to my son in the holiday section at Walmart, staring at the blinking lights! :)
And honestly, it shouldn't be this hard. Christmas music is pumped at us in stores and on the radio via 24/7 stations. Merchants have trees, ornaments and other decorations out for sale -- in fact, these sales have been going on since before Halloween! It seems the "season" is getting longer and longer (or is the correct term 'earlier and earlier'?)
Another reason it shouldn't be so hard is my son. He's 8 years old, and very much believes in the Man in the Big Red Suit. This should be a time of wonder and joy for me, experiencing it all for the second time around through his eyes.
But... WHY is it so hard?
Is it just the fact that I'm getting older, wiser, and more cynical? More jaded against the commercialism that is shoved at us?
Honestly, I think the reason could be my son. Not him personally, but the autism. Now, I know it's a scapegoat. Blame the A word. It's the easy out. But I don't think that way. Really I don't. There is a big difference between using the autism as a reason to escape every responsibility in life, and tweaking situations just a little so there's still the experience, but better managed in a way that my son can still participate.
(That's probably a another post for another time... so I'll just stick with the holiday theme here.)
(Either that, or I'm using the autism excuse because this is supposed to be a blog about parenting a child with autism, which I haven't blogged about much at all... so I better start now and this is a good way to fit it in? Nah.....)
Where was I? Ah yes.. bah humbug. My son's behavior has been on a downward spiral since Thanksgiving.
First off, there was the 5 day break from school over the Tgiving holiday. Breaks from school are NEVER a good thing for a child who depends so heavily on routine. Then, once he does return to school, the established routine is upset again - this time by decorations. All the fall decorations are gone and new winter/holiday decorations are up. And any change is not necessarily good.
But... one of the special education rooms has - I kid you not - a bulletin board of a tree, with actual blinking lights on it.
What. were. they. thinking?
Blinking lights?
His own special ed room has christmas lights snaking all over the ceiling. I've not seen them blink.... yet.
My child OBSESSES over lights. Cannot concentrate when there's one burned out, or humming, or otherwise doing something it's not supposed to do.
The lights have been up for a few weeks now and he's adjusted. So we finally decided to go ahead and put the tree up at home. After a few days of obsessing over the tree and the lights that are on that, we're finally back to "normal" routine.
It's just... hard.
Hard because the things that excite all the other kids, excite my kid too. But, it excites him to a level that pushes him over the edge. Making it hard for him to cope and move on - things that other kids can do without even thinking about it.
The overstimulation of this time of year is REALLY huge. I think most of us don't even realize that because we don't have to conciously try. Sure, we're stressed. But when we walk into a store (or the school, or at home) and see all the decorations and lights, etc... we just either tune it out or move on. We don't get 'stuck' like my son will, unable to pry himself away from the blinking lights on a display at the store.
Even though it's hard... he's still my son. And I love him with all my heart. More than I can describe. So, I'll keep on keeping on, doing what I know best... patiently biding my time, standing next to my son in the holiday section at Walmart, staring at the blinking lights! :)
Sunday, November 30, 2008
The power of advertising
As I was making breakfast this morning, my son runs in from the living room, where the tv was on, and says to me:
"Did you know that you can spend less at Walmart, so you can buy more? Save money, live better. Walmart!!"
Then, he runs back to the tv.
Yes, thank you. I feel much better now that I know Walmart is definitely looking out for my best interest...
"Did you know that you can spend less at Walmart, so you can buy more? Save money, live better. Walmart!!"
Then, he runs back to the tv.
Yes, thank you. I feel much better now that I know Walmart is definitely looking out for my best interest...
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Happy Thanksgiving
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving holiday and took a little time to appreciate the things we are thankful for. And if you don't celebrate the turkey holiday... well then, hope your Thursday was ok!
I found this on a friend's blog and it just struck me as interesting.
What part of Thanksgiving are you?
Take the test and see:
http://www.blogthings.com/whatpartofthanksgivingareyouquiz/
I am.... the stuffing!
Hmmmm. Not sure I get it, but it's ok.
I think I'm skipping the Black Friday shopping this year.... just not in the mood.
I found this on a friend's blog and it just struck me as interesting.
What part of Thanksgiving are you?
Take the test and see:
http://www.blogthings.com/whatpartofthanksgivingareyouquiz/
I am.... the stuffing!
| You Are The Stuffing |
 People miss you if you're gone - but they're not sure why. |
Hmmmm. Not sure I get it, but it's ok.
I think I'm skipping the Black Friday shopping this year.... just not in the mood.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
The British Are Coming
No... actually, the British are HERE. You probably just don't know it.
Then again, maybe you do.
The British invasion may have started back in 1964 with the Beatles. But they have been "invading" ever since then, and still do - through your television.
You see, there are a ton (and I mean a TON!) of televisions shows currently airing on the 3 major networks that have been (to put it mildly) ripped off from the good ol' BBC. Some of them you may be aware of. Some of them probably not. But, I think it's safe to say that you should turn towards the east and bow to the Queen and thank her for quality programming.
Let's discuss a few current shows with origins in the UK:
(Not saying that I'm fond of them, or even watch them. But they are being aired.)
Hell's Kitchen - Foul-mouthed Gordon Ramsey is obviously not from the South. The show originated in Britain, and then brought stateside.
The Office - funny, funny show. But do you know what's funnier? The original British version. Try it sometime. I give props to Steve Carrell. But Ricky Gervais is better.
American Idol - Of course you knew this. This show started (and continues as) Pop Idol in the UK.
Dancing With the Stars - airs in the UK as Strictly Come Dancing. And the kicker of it is, 2 of the judges, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli, judge the shows both here in the US and in the UK. And yes, the shows air concurrently, so they are traveling quite a bit.
And here are a list of shows that are not my favorites at all.... but deserve mention: The Eleventh Hour, Supernanny, Weakest Link, Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, Wife Swap, Trading Spouses, Trading Spaces, What Not to Wear, etc. Heck, half the stuff on TLC is a british rip-off, really.
And, while not currently airing or in production, another show worthy of mention is Whose Line is it Anyway? - Specifically the British version with Clive Anderson. Then again, it really doesn't matter because most of the comedians/improv artists on this show were on both the UK and US versions. This show ROCKS. I love it. I don't care if I've seen the show in repeats 20 times, I'll watch it again anyway. Soooo funny.
What you may not know is that this "borrowing" of ideas is nothing new. It's been going on for years, with many well known titles like Three's Company, All in the Family, Too Close for Comfort, Welcome Back Kotter, and Sanford and Son, etc.
What I want to know is...
Why?
Why do our big 3 networks feel the need to remake all of these programs? Why not air the originals? After all, they were "good enough" or successful enough in the UK to warrant bringing the idea to the US. Then, why can't you just bring the whole damn show? Why do we have to Americanize it? And in the "americanization" process.. the show usually loses some of that something that made it originally successful. Some of the remakes have been downright dreadful.
What's funny is that I've seen recent commercials on BBC America that address this "problem" at it's heart. BBC America... the birthplace of American television.
Ouch.
Currently, ABC is doing a version of Life on Mars, which was originally produced by the BBC with actor John Simm. Honestly, if you haven't seen the original, please make time to do so. For the love of Pete, please.
But I do have a message to the big 3 (and I don't mean the auto makers...)
I hear you have plans to Americanize Top Gear. Just... don't. Don't go there.
And don't go there with Primeval either.
And whatever you do....
Hands off of Doctor Who.
Then again, maybe you do.
The British invasion may have started back in 1964 with the Beatles. But they have been "invading" ever since then, and still do - through your television.
You see, there are a ton (and I mean a TON!) of televisions shows currently airing on the 3 major networks that have been (to put it mildly) ripped off from the good ol' BBC. Some of them you may be aware of. Some of them probably not. But, I think it's safe to say that you should turn towards the east and bow to the Queen and thank her for quality programming.
Let's discuss a few current shows with origins in the UK:
(Not saying that I'm fond of them, or even watch them. But they are being aired.)
Hell's Kitchen - Foul-mouthed Gordon Ramsey is obviously not from the South. The show originated in Britain, and then brought stateside.
The Office - funny, funny show. But do you know what's funnier? The original British version. Try it sometime. I give props to Steve Carrell. But Ricky Gervais is better.
American Idol - Of course you knew this. This show started (and continues as) Pop Idol in the UK.
Dancing With the Stars - airs in the UK as Strictly Come Dancing. And the kicker of it is, 2 of the judges, Len Goodman and Bruno Tonioli, judge the shows both here in the US and in the UK. And yes, the shows air concurrently, so they are traveling quite a bit.
And here are a list of shows that are not my favorites at all.... but deserve mention: The Eleventh Hour, Supernanny, Weakest Link, Who Wants to be a Millionaire?, Wife Swap, Trading Spouses, Trading Spaces, What Not to Wear, etc. Heck, half the stuff on TLC is a british rip-off, really.
And, while not currently airing or in production, another show worthy of mention is Whose Line is it Anyway? - Specifically the British version with Clive Anderson. Then again, it really doesn't matter because most of the comedians/improv artists on this show were on both the UK and US versions. This show ROCKS. I love it. I don't care if I've seen the show in repeats 20 times, I'll watch it again anyway. Soooo funny.
What you may not know is that this "borrowing" of ideas is nothing new. It's been going on for years, with many well known titles like Three's Company, All in the Family, Too Close for Comfort, Welcome Back Kotter, and Sanford and Son, etc.
What I want to know is...
Why?
Why do our big 3 networks feel the need to remake all of these programs? Why not air the originals? After all, they were "good enough" or successful enough in the UK to warrant bringing the idea to the US. Then, why can't you just bring the whole damn show? Why do we have to Americanize it? And in the "americanization" process.. the show usually loses some of that something that made it originally successful. Some of the remakes have been downright dreadful.
What's funny is that I've seen recent commercials on BBC America that address this "problem" at it's heart. BBC America... the birthplace of American television.
Ouch.
Currently, ABC is doing a version of Life on Mars, which was originally produced by the BBC with actor John Simm. Honestly, if you haven't seen the original, please make time to do so. For the love of Pete, please.
But I do have a message to the big 3 (and I don't mean the auto makers...)
I hear you have plans to Americanize Top Gear. Just... don't. Don't go there.
And don't go there with Primeval either.
And whatever you do....
Hands off of Doctor Who.
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